Edits Coding

BLUE is changes directly from my beta, shri_tal

RED is others feedback and things I found on my own

YELLOW is things I changed after reviewing my beta's comments, but are not direct suggestions

Friday, January 21, 2011

Moments

Ratings: Teen


Characters

Elim Garak
Julian Bashir
Tora Ziyal
Enabran Tain


-Scene 1-

(A long straight path sloping down to an L-shaped Natatorium. The path is crushed gravel. It is early winter, no snow. Seen from a distance, Garak and Julian are walking down the path. It is clear that Garak is setting the pace. Julian is barely keeping up while carrying on an impassioned speech. The words are heard, but not intelligible)

-Scene 2-

(Garak and Julian are just entering the atrium. Garak stops and observers the staircase.)

Julian
Well, now I know how to win a debate with you. We just have to have them in the cold.

Garak
Just because I didn’t interrupt your rant doesn’t mean I have conceded the point.

Julian
Wha… (Julian is caught off guard and looks slightly dumbfounded.)

Garak
So, what do you think? The use of the stairs as the focal point of the atrium is a simple and elegant move, is it not?

Julian
It does have a simple beauty to it.

Garak
Yes, it does. One would almost think the building was designed by a Cardassian instead of a Human. Where did you say this is a replication of?

Julian
Some place on the North American continent in the 2010’s, not sure exactly.

(They stand enjoying the atmosphere of the peaceful atrium for a moment.)

Garak
I don’t know about you, but I find that the warmth is returning to my extremities. Shall we continue in our pursuit?

Julian
Lead the way, my friend.

(They turn right and head for the locker room. Cut to view of them walking into the much more confined, cave-like area. Dialogue continues without interruption.)

Julian
And, how am I to take that last statement of yours? I can’t tell if you’re serious or just trying to irritate me.

Garak
That’s the brilliance of my method. Now, no matter the beauty, as you put it, of this building I will never understand why the architect chose to make such a long path to get to the building. It’s nice in the summer and spring when warm, but for the rest of the year… I find it almost unbearable. Of course if you wouldn’t insist on experiencing the full effect we could set the program to the summer setting permanently.

Julian
You’re just too sensitive to the cold Garak. I’m sure you will figure out why I insist on the cold experience soon enough. Anyway, would you like to make use of one of the changing cubicles?

-Scene 3-     FLASHBACK

(This scene is completely silent. A young Garak is trapped in a small confined space. It is dimly lit. It is apparent that he is pleading to someone on the other side of the door. Cut to Enabran Tain imputing a locking code on the door. Cut back to Garak. He is grasping at the chest of his tunic and gasping for breath. He leans against the wall and begins to slip slowly down the surface still gasping. It is clear that tears are rolling down his cheeks. As he moves closer to the floor the scene moves to grey and fades out from the edges. It does not finish fading.)

-Scene 4- Back in the Present

Julian
Garak? Are you okay?

(The scene suddenly goes back to color and the fade surrounding Garak’s face is removed to show the locker room in the present.)

Garak
Wh… What were you saying?

Julian
Are you okay? You just zoned out and became very pale. I thought you were going to faint.

Garak
I am fine. (Very unconvincingly)

Julian
Are you sure? (Julian looks ready to head for the nearest medical tricorder)

Garak
I’m perfectly fine. (An only slightly more convincing attempt) And, to answer your first question, I prefer to change in the open.

Julian
Well, if you don’t mind then I don’t feel bad changing in front of you. In fact I think I might enjoy the opportunity.

Garak
Don’t let Ziyal hear you say that, she’ll be quite jealous.

(Garak has recovered to his normal bantering self. He changes into his dark blue swim trunks quickly and begins to head for the shower room.)

Garak
I don’t care for the cool in here; I will wait for you in the showers. Besides, I prefer to take my time and enjoy the experience, a precursor for the main event one might say.

Julian
See you there. Where are we meeting Ziyal?

Garak
She is probably already in the pool- you were late, after all.

-Scene 5-

(The shower room is an open room with a few half walls to indicate the shower’s placement. Ziyal is there.)

Garak
I expected you to be in the pool already.

Ziyal
I decided to enjoy the showers while I waited for you. Did Julian decide not to come?

Garak
You aren’t that lucky. He’s still changing and will be along shortly.

Ziyal
Oh. (With disappointment)

Garak
I simply couldn’t resist the draw of the moist, hot showers any longer. Don’t look so disappointed. I will begin to think you don’t like Julian.

(Julian enters at this moment.)

Julian
Who doesn’t like me?



Garak
No one, I was just picking on Ziyal. So, Ziyal what do you think of Romeo and Juliet? I was just listening to Julian give an impassioned defense of the work on our way here.

Ziyal
It’s over rated.

Garak
I was of the same opinion. Children rebelling against their parents and completely misunderstanding what love truly is. (This last part is clearly meant to imply more than the obvious.)

(Julian is pretending to ignore the conversation and has quickly washed off while it occurs.)

Julian
Are we all ready to swim?

Garak
You really should learn to slow down and enjoy yourself, think of the showers as a sauna experience.

Julian
Well, I’ve a schedule to keep. I can’t just close up shop when I chose.

Garak
Very well, shall we continue to the pool Ziyal? The doctor can’t be as leisurely as those of the lesser professions.

Ziyal
I don’t have to work at all. (A mock innocence that is clearly intended to needle Julian) I’ll be there shortly.

(Garak moves towards the doors to the pool with Julian.)

Julian
(Defensively) I’m not saying owning a store isn’t important. You just have more control over your schedule is all.

Garak
I was only, to use a Human phrase, needling you. I truly took no offense. Besides one could argue that your role here on the station is much more vital than that of a plain and simple tailor. Of course, those are the ones with no sense of fashion.

Julian
If you say, but…. (Julian reaches to the top of his head) oh great, I forgot my goggles. Be there in a minute.

-Scene 6-

(Garak walks around to the far lane of the pool within the large warm pool area. He slides into the warm water.)

Garak
Aaah. Now I understand.













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Constructive criticism welcome. Just leave a comment. 



I acknowledge that Elim Garak, Julian Bashir, Cardassia, etc. are the property of either Paramount or CBS, not entirely sure which due to the changes in 2006. The story is however mine, and done solely for entertainment purposes.

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