Edits Coding

BLUE is changes directly from my beta, shri_tal

RED is others feedback and things I found on my own

YELLOW is things I changed after reviewing my beta's comments, but are not direct suggestions
Showing posts with label Miles O'Brien. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Miles O'Brien. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

His Distraction (Part 23 of the Drabble Series)


Rating: GA  

Set During: Season 1 Episode 16 “If Wishes Were Horses”

            Garak had determined that there were no medical reasons to explain the anomaly of Julian waking him up earlier in the morning. He’d checked the computer to determine if there were any external anomalies that could explain the incident. No had been found. There was no evidence of foul play that he could detect. He decided that he’d have to look for answers as he went about his daily routine.
            The turbo lift doors opened to reveal the Promenade. It was covered in snow and more was coming down. Garak shivered violently. He’d never felt this cold; it might be best to return to his quarters. But, then he would never discover what was happening. He headed off at a brisk pace for his shop. Halfway there the snow suddenly vanished in much the same manner that the Doctor had previously.
            Garak stopped to look around. Odo was nearby. As much as Garak loathed the idea of asking the good constable what was going on, he walked over to him. He put on his amiable shopkeeper smile as he approach.
            “Odo, I don’t suppose you could tell me what’s going on around here? I’ve experienced some rather strange occurrences this morning.” Garak smiled politely.
            “Mr. Garak.” Odo replied with a knowing smirk. “That would explain why the snow suddenly vanished.”
            “Pardon me.” Garak found the comment obscure and irritating. “But, what is that supposed to mean?”
            Odo continued to smirk. “Just that Cardassians hate the cold.”
            Garak didn’t respond. The cold had put him into a foul mood. Still, he knew better than to rise to the constable’s bait. He’d have to curl up under the heating blanket in the back room for a few minutes before opening the shop, otherwise the he’ remain in an unproductive mood.
            “It’s just that it seems that our imaginations are running away with us. Or, I should say your imaginations are running away with you. I have no use for such a thing.” Odo watched closely as his word became clear to Garak.
            “I see.” Garak glanced at the constable. “I was just thinking ‘I wish the snow would go away,’ and it did. Just like that. I suppose this is going to be an interesting day.”
            “If by interesting you mean busy and chaotic, then yes it’s going to be an interesting day.” Odo scoffed and walked away.
            Garak was pondering this new information as he turned and headed towards his shop. He was brought up short by the sight of Doctor Bashir, Jadzia, Jadzia, and the Chief walking down the Promenade towards Jadzia’s lab. One of the Jadzia’s was hang off of the Doctor in a very promiscuous manner. 


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General comments and constructive criticism welcome. Feel free to comment. 



I acknowledge that Elim Garak, Julian Bashir, Cardassia, etc. are the property of either Paramount or CBS, not entirely sure which due to the changes in 2006. The story is however mine, and done solely for entertainment purposes.



COMING SOON:

Well...

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Retelling (Part 18 of the Drabble Series)

Rating: MC

Set After: Season 1 Episode 14 “The Storyteller”
&
Set During: Season 1 Episode 15 “Progress”

             Garak was sitting across the table from Doctor Bashir, watching and listening intently. The man was animatedly telling him about a recent adventure he and Chief O’Brien had on Bajor. He found the way the Doctor told the story much more interesting than the story itself.
            “So, you never figured out what this thing that was terrorizing the village was?” Garak asked the right question at the right time.
            Julian smiled excitedly; glad to have an interested audience for a change. “Well, yes and no. But, I’ll get to that shortly. As I was saying, the Chief didn’t like the way the villagers were treating him, so he went back to the house. And, I walked in a short while later just in time to rescue him from an assassination attempt.”
            “Really? Why would any of the villagers want to kill the man they perceived as their savior?” Garak suspected the answer, but wanted to let the Doctor think he was revealing something surprising.
            “How do you know it was a villager?” Julian looked at him suspiciously. “Have you already heard about the events?”
            “No, I assumed that you would have mentioned any other strangers in the village by now if there where any.” Garak replied casually.
            “Oh, yes, well.” Julian recollected his thoughts. “It was a young man. He’d been the apprentice to the storyteller and was supposed to take his place. He didn’t take kindly to being shoved aside and replaced by the Chief.”
            “I suppose not.” Garak agreed.
            “Anyway, we got to talking to him after the attempt had ended. He explained that the Dal’Rok was created by a part of an orb. That it was the physical incarnation of the villagers’ fears. The storyteller just directs the villager; focuses their energy on uniting against their fears. I thought it was all rather fascinating.”
            “It does sound rather mysterious.” Garak suspected he knew where this story led. “So, did the Chief manage to save the villagers?”
            “No, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. In the end, I managed to convince the apprentice to take over for the Chief. It was he that managed to save the village.” Julian took a bit of his food.
            “And, you and the Chief were free to return to the station, a job well done.”
            “I guess so. I tell you Garak; it was amazing to experience, like something right out of Shakespeare’s The Tempest.”
            “Shakespeare, Doctor?” Garak was about to take a bit of food, but Julian’s reference interested him.
            “Sisko to Doctor Bashir.”
            Julian tapped the communicator on his chest. “Bashir here.”
            “Doctor your needed on run at pad C. Bring a medical kit. You’re headed to Jeraddo’s fifth moon. Sisko out.”
            Julian stood as he addressed Garak. “It seems our lunch is to be cut very short. Shall I make it up to you tomorrow?”
            “It would be my pleasure, Doctor. Until then.” Garak stood and bowed his head slightly. 


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General comments and constructive criticism welcome. Feel free to comment. 



I acknowledge that Elim Garak, Julian Bashir, Cardassia, etc. are the property of either Paramount or CBS, not entirely sure which due to the changes in 2006. The story is however mine, and done solely for entertainment purposes.



COMING SOON:

Lunch Again

Friday, June 10, 2011

Doctor's Visit (Part 8 of the Drabble Series)

Ratings: MC

Set During: Season 1 Episode 5 “Babel”

            Jabara was about to leave the infirmary. She’d helped bring Chief O’Brien in after discovering the fever. They now knew that this virus was fatal. She had watch for signs that the virus had progressed in the others.
            Damn, Julian thought, this situation just keeps going from bad to worse. “Nurse Jabara, has Garak been checked into the ward?”
            “No,” Jabara looked at him puzzled, “as a matter of fact he hasn’t.”
            “I would have thought that as this virus was designed to effect Cardassians he’d have been effected quicker than the rest.” Julian considered the possibilities.
            “Maybe he didn’t eat any of the contaminated food. That would mean his symptoms might not have taken effect yet.”
            “I would’ve thought that since it’s gone airborne he would have become rapidly aphasic. If not it could give us a clue about the virus.” Julian descended into though.
            Jabara hesitated. “It’s more likely that he’s holed up sick somewhere. He doesn’t care for doctors.”
            This statement got Julian’s attention. “Computer, locate Garak.”
            “Mr. Garak is in Garak’s Clothier’s.” The computer chimed.
            “That doesn’t make any since. Security shut down the Promenade hours ago.” Jabara responded.
            “Return to the ward. I’ll check on Garak.” He took a breath. “If I’m correct, he’s probably as bad off as Chief O’Brien right now. That’s assuming he didn’t eat anything from Quark’s.”
            “Aye, sir.” Jabara left. She was concerned for Garak, but had too many other patients to look after at the moment.
…
            Julian entered the show and looked around. “Garak. Are you in here?”
            He got no response. He moved quickly into the depths of the shop and through to a small back room. He found Garak huddled on the floor in a corner looking very sick.
            “Garak.” The Cardassian opened his eyes looking confused.
            “Garak, it’s okay. I’m here to help you.” Julian ran his tricorder over the man quickly.
            “Words sometimes scrambled. No make sense.” Garak gasped.
            Julian was looking at his tricorder readings. The man had an advanced fever and his body temperature was well below normal. It was no wonder the poor man was shivering violently.
            At the coherent words Julian looked up quickly. “You can understand me?”
            “Sometimes.” Garak wheezed.
            “I’ll explain later. But, first let’s get you to the infirmary.” Julian gripped his upper arm reassuringly. “Computer two to transport to the infirmary. Energize.”
            Garak had looked at the man with confusion the words had stopped making any sense again. 


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General comments and constructive criticism welcome. Feel free to comment. 



I acknowledge that Elim Garak, Julian Bashir, Cardassia, etc. are the property of either Paramount or CBS, not entirely sure which due to the changes in 2006. The story is however mine, and done solely for entertainment purposes.



COMING SOON:

Explanation