Edits Coding

BLUE is changes directly from my beta, shri_tal

RED is others feedback and things I found on my own

YELLOW is things I changed after reviewing my beta's comments, but are not direct suggestions

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Retelling (Part 18 of the Drabble Series)

Rating: MC

Set After: Season 1 Episode 14 “The Storyteller”
&
Set During: Season 1 Episode 15 “Progress”

             Garak was sitting across the table from Doctor Bashir, watching and listening intently. The man was animatedly telling him about a recent adventure he and Chief O’Brien had on Bajor. He found the way the Doctor told the story much more interesting than the story itself.
            “So, you never figured out what this thing that was terrorizing the village was?” Garak asked the right question at the right time.
            Julian smiled excitedly; glad to have an interested audience for a change. “Well, yes and no. But, I’ll get to that shortly. As I was saying, the Chief didn’t like the way the villagers were treating him, so he went back to the house. And, I walked in a short while later just in time to rescue him from an assassination attempt.”
            “Really? Why would any of the villagers want to kill the man they perceived as their savior?” Garak suspected the answer, but wanted to let the Doctor think he was revealing something surprising.
            “How do you know it was a villager?” Julian looked at him suspiciously. “Have you already heard about the events?”
            “No, I assumed that you would have mentioned any other strangers in the village by now if there where any.” Garak replied casually.
            “Oh, yes, well.” Julian recollected his thoughts. “It was a young man. He’d been the apprentice to the storyteller and was supposed to take his place. He didn’t take kindly to being shoved aside and replaced by the Chief.”
            “I suppose not.” Garak agreed.
            “Anyway, we got to talking to him after the attempt had ended. He explained that the Dal’Rok was created by a part of an orb. That it was the physical incarnation of the villagers’ fears. The storyteller just directs the villager; focuses their energy on uniting against their fears. I thought it was all rather fascinating.”
            “It does sound rather mysterious.” Garak suspected he knew where this story led. “So, did the Chief manage to save the villagers?”
            “No, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. In the end, I managed to convince the apprentice to take over for the Chief. It was he that managed to save the village.” Julian took a bit of his food.
            “And, you and the Chief were free to return to the station, a job well done.”
            “I guess so. I tell you Garak; it was amazing to experience, like something right out of Shakespeare’s The Tempest.”
            “Shakespeare, Doctor?” Garak was about to take a bit of food, but Julian’s reference interested him.
            “Sisko to Doctor Bashir.”
            Julian tapped the communicator on his chest. “Bashir here.”
            “Doctor your needed on run at pad C. Bring a medical kit. You’re headed to Jeraddo’s fifth moon. Sisko out.”
            Julian stood as he addressed Garak. “It seems our lunch is to be cut very short. Shall I make it up to you tomorrow?”
            “It would be my pleasure, Doctor. Until then.” Garak stood and bowed his head slightly. 


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General comments and constructive criticism welcome. Feel free to comment. 



I acknowledge that Elim Garak, Julian Bashir, Cardassia, etc. are the property of either Paramount or CBS, not entirely sure which due to the changes in 2006. The story is however mine, and done solely for entertainment purposes.



COMING SOON:

Lunch Again

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